[This Spring I spent most of a month in and out of the hospital with plenty of time on my hands. These are some of the poems I wrote...]
~~~
the one sparrow
who just didn't care
singing in the rain
nevermind
the bad dreams...
this perfect sunrise
when I
was the person
who wanted
to be
me
the day I found you
the fourth heart
on the clover
how the picture
never captures
the color
of your perfume
or the sunset's smile
the frisbee
my bad temper threw
into the sun
the stray dog who
brought it back smiling
deep in thought
watching a boxcar pass
and fighting the urge
to leave my keys
in the ignition
I asked an old log
how he had fallen but
he just smiled
and told me sit down
tell me about the sun
buds sprouting
on an old Spring poem
I left in a notebook
tiny yellow flowers
whooping and hollering
in the alley out back
neighbor boy
with tussled hair
growing like a weed
the place behind the moon
where bears live on
marshmallows
and no one gets mad
or makes mistakes
that one
little thing you said
fire ant
rows and rows
of wildflowers
the rusting tractor
a nuthatch
swoops down
to ask me to dance
then changes its mind
before I can accept
Spring
I burst out of myself
and take my first breath
how quiet this dream
under florescent lights
automatic doors
open and close
for no one
that angry prayer
God answered
so calmly
in spite
of me
the slam
of the dumpster
from the garbage truck
the whisper of a cloud
passing overhead
the blind ferret
who wanted out
past the screen door
into a brand new world
on the faith of fresh air
when I was
the night falling
you were
the last song
of the sparrow
watching a crow
turn a crosswind
into a tailwind
for no reason at all
boys throwing stones
and the one-eyed squirrel
who always stays up
high in the trees
the dandelions
who decided not to wait
for the roses
night wind
sweeps away
the ghosts
of birdsongs
caught in the branches
the angels
who watched over
the crazy old man
who believed
in angels
the day my heart
burst out of my chest
and sang in the trees
as hearts often do
in momentary grasps
of sunshine and reason
unlabeled
jar of seeds
I plant them
just to see
what we'll be
the rocking chair
my grandfather made
out of the old maple
that swayed in the breeze
and fell in the storm
in the exam room
at the surgeon's office
wide-eyed and angry
for all the times
I didn't go dancing
always the tree
that never thought it would fall
cord of firewood
that first
trickle of rainwater
that becomes
the river
love
where the desert
forgets the sound
of the highway
a sparrow
skylarking
attached by wires
to digital readouts
but my mind
through the window
and roaming the canyon
two dots of birds
of unknown origin
high over my head
and spiraling to
unknown destinations
the mountain and I
on a first name basis
with the sky
my lousy choice
of cable or the window
I watch
the morning sun
rise like a balloon
midnight
the bright silence
that outshines the moon
when I turn off
the lights
how quick this life
my eyes try to follow
two white butterflies
twisting and turning
in the weeds
meadowlark sings
higher and higher
sun on fire
the things that
can only be fixed by
running on four paws
down a deserted
desert highway
sometimes
I'm a smile
and sometimes
I'm the marigold
gone missing
empty IV
the floor nurse
untethers me
so I can float away
into blue sky mountains
the selfie I took
way up on the mesa
of my tail in the scrub
behind some old man
holding a camera
dying sun
through a golden hole
in shadows of rain
what's left of the day
soaked in liquid night
the day God decided
that flowers should fly
butterfly
just when I thought
I knew this desert sky
May snow
tiny blue moon
skyfast and alone
glowing in the clouds
so much braver
than the rain
morphine sunrise
only a hint of color
in this gray sky
of stretched clouds
and dream mountains
almost inaudible
the sound of the sun
through the window
hitting the smile
on my face
bird on a line
with a chest full
of sunshine
he gathered
just for me
she waits for me
no scent of sage
rising from rainwater
this ever-patient desert
where even the whiptails
are waiting to dance
photoshop
I color the
pink peony blue
and plant it
in my head
I tell the sparrow
who stops in mid-song
he did nothing wrong
to sing so beautifully
my first day home
~
the woman
who left the holy well
still with crutches
who gave her miracle
to me
(for Jenny, who never didn't believe...)
~